Tez Ilyas

Famous Last Words With Comedian Tez Ilyas

One of British comedy’s most exciting rising stars, we caught up with Tez Ilyas just before his nationwide tour to hear his ‘Famous Last Words’…

Last thing you did that made you feel good?
I schooled a troll on Twitter. I know you shouldn’t really rise to the idiots, but it does make one feel good when one gets a witty one in.

Last thing you’d want to be doing right now?
Probably having dinner with that troll. That’d be awkward. That, or having to go on foot anywhere in this weather. It’s 1am in Lancashire and it’s cold in here, never mind out there.

Last night on Earth… What’s your poison?
I don’t drink, but I did try non-alcolholic Kopparberg cider once and OMA, it was amazing. So that. Or mango lassi. Whichever is easier to get hold of under the circumstances.

Last supper… What are you ordering?
Oh my… I am getting a half-pound cheeseburger from a quality burger place, but with McDonalds fries, a pizza, a milkshake and a cornflake tart! Yum.

Last person you’d want to share a drink with?
My best mate Abs. I’d like to go out laughing.

“It’s easier to be nice, than it is to be mean”

Last time you shed a tear and why?
I was re-watching Educating Yorkshire, you know the one with Mushy in it, and it gets me every damn time! Love that kid.

Last refuge… where would you go?
I’d have to go to the mosque of course. Pray for salvation, mine and yours, and all that.

Last the course… tips on loot, love & life?
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Michael Jordan said that, but I firmly believe in taking risks. Be that in business, love or fun. So that one’s always stayed with me.

Last but one … random question: Tell us about something that interests you that nobody else knows about. Like Gaelic football… or porcelain.
I really like watching old wrestling videos on YouTube. Particularly Stone Cold Steve Austin’s entrances. I go mad for that stuff.

Your Famous Last Words?
It’s easier to be nice, than it is to be mean. Like, it genuinely takes less effort. So, do that: be nice. Peace x.

Tez Ilyas perform at Hull Fruit, 5 April and Bradford Alhambra, 22 April
images: Steve Ullathorne