Absoluxe Suites, Kirkby Lonsdale – Review

By Karl Hornsey, April 2022

There are many dictionary definitions of what luxury means, and of course the very nature of luxury is subjective to every individual, but nobody could deny that the Absoluxe Suites in Kirkby Lonsdale offer up “a pleasure or advantage that you do not often have” or “the enjoyment of special and expensive things”.

From the minute you walk through the door of these apartments in the centre of the town, the whole place reeks of luxury and of a place to relax. The concept is deliberately decadent and staying at Absoluxe was a definite treat, with the owners setting out to create a themed space featuring all manner of smart technology and neat designs.

The town of Kirkby Lonsdale has been a favourite for us since our first visit a few years ago – just big enough to find plenty to do during day or night, but small enough to explore in full, and the addition of Absoluxe to the main street has been an excellent one.

Oasis Lounge

“Attention to detail”

The central location plus the wonderful views afforded from the top floor, where we stayed in the Columbus suite, makes you feel a part of the town, rather than just a temporary tourist. The suite is themed around the discovery of America, and the three other suites (two of which boast hot tubs) also take their inspiration from around the world – specifically The Far East, Paris and the plains of Africa.

Check-in to the Absoluxe apartments is simple and avoids contact with anyone, but that’s not to say you feel unable to ask for assistance if needed, as the communication from Carol, one of the owners, was professional and unintrusive at all times, which I think these days is appreciated by many people, especially during the pandemic.

This in turn has focused the spotlight on cleanliness, and the suite and public areas were all absolutely spotless and sparklingly clean. And there is no doubt from the minute you step through the door, that a great deal had been made of attention to detail. The smell of the most enormous reed diffuser is the first thing that hits the senses, followed by the initially surprising realisation that relaxing music has started playing in the lobby and all the way up the staircase.

Parisian Bathroom

“Stunning”

Turn the key to your suite, and there’s jazz music playing, lights on and very welcoming room in front of you. This is a very different place indeed, and one that keeps on surprising as you have a delve around inside it.

The suite features a large bedroom area with king-size bed, dressing room space, a selection of complimentary food and drink in the fridge, toiletries by the wonderful Bathhouse and a stunning bathroom, which comes with a TV and radio built in for that extra touch of luxury.

And, on top of all this, come the technology and the gadgetry. Now I’ll freely admit that, by and large, understanding technology and how things work has always gone many miles over my head and I’m something of a technophobe, so the addition of ‘mod cons’ in this sense isn’t something that I would necessarily look for in my accommodation. But in such surroundings, it works and adds a special touch that definitely adds to the experience.

Orient Bedroom

“An experience”

Switches on the wall and the remote controls between them work their magic by opening and closing the blinds, dimming and turning on and off lights no matter which room you’re in, controlling the heating, towel rail and fans, and activating quite definitely the best surround sound music system that we’ve ever come across. Each of which just adds that touch of luxury. That word again, but one that keeps coming to mind in everything about the accommodation.

While Absoluxe doesn’t offer its own food in the sense of in-house dinner or breakfast, they’ve got around such limitations thanks to a tie-in with one of Kirkby Lonsdale’s finest and most historic pubs, The Sun Inn, which is three or four minutes’ walk away. There, we enjoyed a delightful, traditional Full English breakfast, and would happily dine there again when we next visit the town.

The owners of Absoluxe have created a concept and offer up an experience, not just a place to stay. Not many places can boast that, and it’s something that is well worth trying and a great part of a beautiful town.

Absoluxe Suites, 4 Main Street, Kirkby Lonsdale, Cumbria, LA6 2AE
Suites Prices:
Parisian – prices start from £250 based on 2 adults sharing on a B&B basis. / Room Only Rate £220
Columbus – prices start from £250 based on 2 adults sharing on a B&B basis. / Room Only Rate £220
Orient – prices start from £370 based on 2 adults sharing on a B&B basis. / Room Only Rate £340
Oasis – prices start from £420 based on 2 adults sharing on a B&B basis. / Room Only Rate £390
Tel: 07944 414565
E.mail: hello@absoluxesuites.com
Web: absoluxesuites.co.uk