What Not to Order on a First Date: The “Don’t Embarrass Yourself” Food List (and What to Pick Instead)
First dates already come with enough pressure. You’re trying to look confident, listen properly, remember details, and not do that thing where you laugh a little too hard because you’re nervous. Adding a messy, complicated meal on top of all that is like choosing hard mode for no reason.
This isn’t about being “proper.” It’s about reducing risk. Some dishes are delicious but high-maintenance: they stain, smell strong, require weird tools, or demand so much attention that you stop acting like a person and start acting like someone doing a timed exam with a fork.
Below is a practical, slightly ruthless guide to foods you’re usually better off skipping on a first date—plus the safer alternatives that still feel fun, informed dating service.
The big rule: don’t order anything that fights you
If your meal requires:
● bib-level protection,
● constant napkin management,
● cracking shells with your hands,
● chasing pieces around the plate,
● or emergency tooth checks…
…it might be amazing, but it’s not first-date friendly.
1) Spaghetti (and other long noodle chaos)
Let’s start with the classic trap. Spaghetti looks romantic in movies. In real life, it’s a sauce slingshot.
Why it’s risky:
● Stray noodles whip sauce onto your shirt.
● You get the “one long noodle won’t behave” moment.
● You end up staring at your plate like it personally offended you.
Real-life example:
A friend once wore a light-colored top on a first date and ordered spaghetti Bolognese. Halfway through, a noodle snapped and launched a small dot of sauce right onto the chest area. The rest of the date became a strategic scarf situation. The date went fine, but she spent the evening thinking about the stain, not the conversation.
Safer alternative:
● Short pasta (penne, rigatoni)
● Risotto
● Ravioli
You still get Italian comfort without the physics experiment.
2) Ribs, wings, and anything that demands “full hands”
Some people can eat ribs elegantly. Most people cannot. Ribs are delicious because they’re primal. That’s also why they’re dangerous on a first date.
Why it’s risky:
● Sauce on fingers, cheeks, and sometimes eyebrows.
● You can’t easily pause to talk without wiping your hands.
● You look away from your date constantly to manage the mess.
Real-life example:
A guy I know ordered buffalo wings on a first date because “it shows I’m chill.” Ten minutes later, he was doing napkin triage, silently regretting every life choice, and trying to smile through spicy sauce that had found its way onto his face. He said he barely remembered what she was talking about, because he was focused on not looking feral.
Safer alternative:
● Grilled chicken, kebabs, or skewers (still fun, less messy)
● A burger that isn’t the size of your head (more on that later)
● Crispy chicken sandwich with manageable sauce
3) Shellfish you have to crack: crab, lobster, whole prawns with shells
If you’re already comfortable with someone, cracking shells can be cute. On a first date, it’s often just stressful.
Why it’s risky:
● You don’t know the etiquette, or you pretend you do.
● Shell bits fly, hands get wet, and you feel slightly chaotic.
● You’ll spend half the meal washing your hands or checking your nails.
Real-life example:
Someone ordered lobster because it felt like a “special occasion” choice. Then came the tools. He stared at the lobster cracker like it was a puzzle from an escape room. It wasn’t embarrassing in a dramatic way, but it turned the date into a performance: he was concentrating on the lobster instead of the person across the table.
Safer alternative:
● Fish fillet (salmon, sea bass)
● Shrimp already peeled
● Seafood pasta with short noodles
Same vibe, less chaos.
4) Super-garlicky dishes (and anything that stays with you for hours)
Garlic is wonderful. First-date breath is not.
Why it’s risky:
● Strong smell lingers.
● It can make you self-conscious and less relaxed.
● If the date goes well, you’ll worry about a goodbye hug—or kiss.
Real-life example:
A woman ordered garlic-heavy noodles because “I love bold flavor.” Later, she kept a polite distance and turned down dessert because she wanted to leave before the breath anxiety got worse. She said the worst part wasn’t the garlic—it was that she couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Safer alternative:
● Herb-based dishes (lemon, basil, rosemary)
● Lighter sauces
● Ask for garlic “light” if it’s a core ingredient
5) Extra-spicy food that makes you sweat, sniffle, or tear up
Spice tolerance is personal, but on a first date, you want to be present—not fighting for survival.
Why it’s risky:
● Sweating, red face, runny nose.
● You talk less because your mouth is on fire.
● You might overcompensate and pretend you’re fine.
Real-life example:
A guy ordered the spiciest ramen because he didn’t want to look “basic.” He ended up sipping water, blinking back tears, and laughing awkwardly while his date asked if he was okay. The conversation became “how spicy is too spicy?” for 30 minutes. Not exactly flirty.
Safer alternative:
● Medium spice
● Sauce on the side
● Choose flavor over heat
6) Salads that are hard to eat without looking like a rabbit
Salads can be a great choice—unless they’re the tall, overloaded kind with huge leaves and messy toppings.
Why it’s risky:
● Big leaves slide out.
● Dressing drips.
● You spend the meal trying to cut lettuce politely.
Safer alternative:
● Chopped salad
● Grain bowl
● A simple Caesar (if it’s neatly plated)
7) The “too tall” burger or overloaded sandwich
A normal burger can be a perfect first-date meal. A burger that requires unhinging your jaw is not.
Why it’s risky:
● Sauce drips, toppings fall, and you chew while trying to speak.
● Lipstick can smear, and even without lipstick, you’ll feel messy.
● You may need to “disassemble” it, which is rarely elegant.
Safer alternative:
● A smaller burger
● A burger you can cut cleanly
● A wrap that stays together
8) Anything with bones that demands precision
Whole fish with bones. Bone-in cuts that require careful work. It’s not that you can’t handle it—it’s that it steals attention.
Why it’s risky:
● You pause constantly to navigate bones.
● You worry about choking or getting something stuck.
● You end up in your head, not in the moment.
Safer alternative:
● Fillets
● Boneless cuts
● Dishes that are easy to eat while talking
9) “This will definitely stain” dishes
Beet salad, turmeric-heavy curry, red wine reduction, ink-black squid pasta—amazing flavors, but high staining potential.
Why it’s risky:
● One drop on your outfit can hijack your confidence.
● You’ll start guarding your clothes instead of relaxing.
Safer alternative:
● Same cuisine, lighter sauce
● Darker clothing if you really want the risky dish
What to order instead: the safe-but-still-fun short list
If you want a meal that lets you stay charming, pick something:
● easy to cut with a fork and knife,
● not overly saucy,
● not extremely fragrant,
● not extremely spicy.
Great first-date choices:
● risotto
● grilled fish or chicken
● sushi (easy pieces, not the gigantic dripping rolls)
● tacos that are neat and not overfilled
● tapas (shareable, low pressure)
● short pasta dishes
● steak with a simple side
● ramen or pho in mild/medium spice (and be honest about spice)
The best first-date mindset about food
Order something you genuinely like, but in a version that doesn’t create chaos. The point is not to appear “perfect.” The point is to stay relaxed enough to be yourself—because that’s what makes you attractive in the first place.
