Alfie Brown – Q&A

Comedian Alfie Brown’s new show, ‘Sensitive Man’ will explore whether emotion helps us make moral judgements or gets in the way of logical decision making. It’s a brutally funny show about challenging preconceived notions of what it means to be a good person, by watching one person justifying a morality he is at odds with intrinsically.

Prior to dates in York, Leeds and Hull, we asked him for his Famous Last Words…

Last thing you did that made you feel good?
I climbed a lot of stairs. After you’ve got over the feeling of your heart being about to burst, so invigorating and what an achievement. There are two main types of good to feel, ‘pleasure now’ good, and ‘better life’ good. Obviously climbing the stairs was better life good, but I was drunk when I did it. So hard to work out actually.

Last thing you’d want to be doing right now?
My tax return. It’s February and I’ve not done it. It just isn’t fair. How can you make me do this? It doesn’t seem like it should be legal.

Last night on Earth… What’s your poison?
Bourbon and beer.

Last supper… What are you ordering?
An exotic animal or maybe a slow cooked chilli with dolphin and human in it. Might as well. But also a Dominos pizza for safety.

Last person you’d want to share a drink with?
Jeremy Kyle. I just today got asked to go on his TalkRadio show to talk about Jimmy Carr and free speech. Bollocks to that. If there is one person’s speech I’d love to curtail the freedom of it’s Jeremy fu*k face Kyle.

Last time you shed a tear and why?
Yesterday. Some sad intrusive thought about my eldest child. What is the evolutionary purpose of the intrusive thought? Horrible stuff.

Last refuge… where would you go?
Bergen in Norway. Beautiful but who’s coming there to look for me? I’d be all alone looking at the beauty and eating the rubbish food.

Last the course… tips on loot, love & life?
Don’t dry wipe your ass. Find a flushable wet wipe thing or something called Wype that you squirt onto loo roll before you wipe. It is totally bonkers to me that we dry wipe our bums. What are we doing? It’s disgusting.

Last but one… random question: Tell us about something that interests you that nobody else knows about. Like Gaelic football… or porcelain.
I can’t really get into it now but if you see me out and about ask me about the London sewage system. Aren’t too many videos I haven’t watched about it. I realise my last two answers have been quite poo-centric. I’m not really that sort of guy.

Your Famous Last Words?
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I could swim that.”

Alfie Brown’s ‘Sensitive Man’ stand-up tour visits York Theatre41 10th Feb; Leeds Wardrobe 6th Mar;
Hull Polar Bear 7th Mar
For full tour dates visit: alfiebrowncomedian.com
images: James Deacon