Sara Barron – Q&A

UK-based American comedian and writer Sara Barron is about to take her debut stand-up tour, ‘Enemies Closer’ on the road. It’s a show about kindness, meanness, ex-boyfriends, current husbands, all four of her remaining friends, and two of her twelve enemies. Sara says, “Come if you dig an artful rant. Stay at home if think you’re “a positive person”.

Here are her Famous Last Words…

Last thing you did that made you feel good?
I have a frenemy from secondary school, and her entire reason for being is her own Instagram account and I’ve spent a good 9 years envying her in no small part because her husband looks like a Ken Doll and she has this well-decorated home. Anyway! I ran into her parents at the weekend, and made a passing comment about the Ken Doll husband, and the parents raised an eyebrow, and then her mom went, “Oh. Have you not heard? They’re getting divorced.” She said the word “divorced” and it’s possible I heard angels sing. And I know that presents me in a NOT GREAT WAY, but hey: I wanted to be honest when answering the question.

Last thing you’d want to be doing right now?
Making small-talk in the school queue when, at 3:20pm, I go to get my son. There’s one mom in particular who recently talked about how “naughty” she feels when she lets herself eat sugar, and the convo was so mind-numbing I’m genuinely surprised I survived.

Last night on Earth… What’s your poison?
I’d have a Manhattan – the drink, not the island – but one served with a brandied cherry. NOT a maraschino. Does this make me sound like a princess? Or just discerning where my cocktails are concerned? OR BOTH? (I’m probably both.)

Last supper… What are you ordering?
I’m 85% vegetarian these days, but if it was a last supper I’ll admit some dead pigs might be involved. This is all to say that I’d order this one pizza from the best pizzeria New York City has to offer, and it would have pepperoni on top and I would die happy.

“I haven’t made the pilgrimage”

Last person you’d want to share a drink with?
Does “last person” in this context mean, my favourite person? Or rather my least favourite person? If it’s favourite – like if this is a last drink in the same spirit as a last supper – than probably my husband and my kid. (Apologies for the earnestness here.) However, if it’s least favourite – like, “Oh, you’re THE LAST person I’d wanna see!” – then let’s say THAT GODDAMN MOM who thinks sugar, for a grownup, is naughty.

Last time you shed a tear and why?
Watching RuPaul’s Drag Race. Are you a fan? If you are, then you’ll know what I mean when I say it was one of those episodes toward the end where the remaining queens talk to photographs of their younger selves about all the wonders (but also all the trials and tribulations) that await.

Last refuge… where would you go?
Sardinia. Went on the holiday of a lifetime there once and continue to think about it on a near-daily basis.

Last the course… tips on loot, love & life?
1. Loot: Only steal from people who deserve it (JK: don’t steal, of course!).
2. Love: keep realistic expectations at the forefront of your mind.
3. Life: try to accentuate the positive if you can, and if you can’t, I get it.

Last but one… random question: Tell us about something that interests you that nobody else knows about. Like Gaelic football… or porcelain.
You sure you ready for this? IT’S THE GOOLE LEISURE CENTRE! Why, you ask? WELL. In 1989 my family and I went on holiday to the UK. (I’m originally from Chicago.) We did this house exchange with a family from Goole. My parents were trying to have this affordable international holiday with two small children – their goal was to travel through the Yorkshire Dales, etc.- yet all my brother and I wanted to do was go to the Goole Leisure Centre. In 1989 there was a very cool water slide there, and we couldn’t get enough. When eventually I moved to the UK, my brother was like, “Oh my god. The first thing you should do when you get there is go to Goole! For old times’ sake!” It’s been nine years now that I’ve lived in the UK, and still I haven’t made the pilgrimage. BUT. He’s coming with his family for Christmas this year, and I think he and I might finally make the journey – just the two of us, of course; children be damned! – and bring our swimming costumes, and hope for the best.

Your Famous Last Words?
Go to Goole!

Sara Barron takes her ‘Enemies Closer’ tour to York Theatre@41 Oct 9; Leeds Sheaf St Oct 20; Selby Town Hall Oct 29
For full tour details visit: berksnest.com/sara
images: Kara Gowlett