Goldilocks and the Three Bears – Review – Hull New Theatre

By Roger Crow, December 2024

I’m not saying Goldilocks and the Three Bears goes off piste much, but at one point it’s like that opening scene from The Spy Who Loved Me when 007 skis off a cliff. The show could have collapsed, broken in a showbiz canyon, but Hull New Theatre have a magnificent ‘parachute’ in the form of Neil Hurst who, as usual, steers it back to some sort of solid ground. Or to put it another way, he’s a pantomime arsonist and fireman rolled into one. And a few minutes later the panto is in danger of ‘flying off a cliff’ again, but all great pantos should have a sense of controlled anarachy, and the region’s largest handles that mix of bonkers energy and controlled plot with enviable skill.

As repeat ‘offenders’, Neil and grand dame Jack Land Noble have a sort of telepathy that keeps the show ticking over beautifully. The wild card this year is Brendan Cole, and given his history with Strictly, the fact the press show comes a day after THAT final means it has a white hot topicality. Cole doesn’t so much try and steal the spotlight as wrench it from its housing, but he is playing the bad guy after all. Instantly hissable as I imagined he would be, and yet so fleet-footed during the inevitable dance routines, he has to be applauded, despite the audience almost programmed to boo him during every appearance on stage.

“Jaw-dropping moments”

“You don’t know whether to boo or clap do you,” he sneers to the crowd at one point, which underlines how good he is, wowing with his dance moves and turning his villain role up to 11.

The eponymous heroine, Sheri Lineham, is a delight. She looks great, sounds phenomenal and has a real star presence, which is essential when you have such massive characters like Joey the Clown (Neil), Baron Von Bolshoi (Brendan) and Betty Barnum (Jack). The three bears routine is great fun, and there’s one of those genuinely jaw-dropping moments before the end of the first act when many stare slack of jaw, including me. I’ll not give too much away, but it’s just one of many high points that sell the show.

My young panto co-pilots, Alex and Sophie, had a great time throughout, as did their dad, Richard, so safe to say that kids, teens, and twenty to fifty somethings will have a great time throughout. And calm yourself ladies and gents, because the Mexican `Jason Momoa-lookalike juggler is a turn that would seem left field in a normal panto, but in one set in a big top, he slots straight in. And those skills are stunning. Little wonder he had so many of us perched on the edge of our seats.

“Anarchic”

As always, some of the gags are so near the knuckle they defy belief, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m sure there were plenty of similar jokes when I saw my first panto in 1973, but it didn’t affect me a jot because like so many things as a five year old, I didn’t get it. But I still had a great time regardless. So fear not mums, dads and ‘wobbly grandmas’. This is a show for the whole family, and there’s not many of those around these days that tick so many boxes, and have an anarchic freshness that makes you wonder what will happen next?

Oh, and that set is phenomenal. Some clever stage lighting and set decoration gives the big top interiors a sense of forced perspective. Full marks to the team who craft such gorgeous backdrops. They never take a bow at the end, but deserve to as much as the excellent band.

As usual I’ll be back for a second performance before the show bows out on December 31, 2024, and yes, I’ll be back for Beauty and the Beast next Christmas. Oh yes I will.

‘Goldilocks and the Three Bears’ is at Hull New Theatre until 31st December