Jason Goes to Hell (1993) – Film Review

Director: Adam Marcus
Cast: Erin Gray, Kane Hodder, Steven Williams
Certificate:

By Roger Crow

I’m not sure we needed another Friday the 13th movie by the time Jason Goes to Hell cropped up in video stores, but commerce suggested otherwise. This is the Final Friday, as the subtitle suggests, but of course it was nothing of the sort.

The Ts and Cs for any stalk and slash movie involves T and A early on. Topless and asinine gags involving well-worn mirror tricks. Beautiful brunette gets undressed, looks in mirror. Nothing there, looks back and… still nothing there. The filmmakers know the rules and so do you, to paraphrase faux horror pop star Rick Ghastly, who I just made up. And is a better gag than anything in this mess.

“Black heart”

The pre-credits sequence plays out just like that. Remote location, beautiful brunette who strips off, and then the hockey-masked killer turns up… and is blown to smithereens by a bunch of gun-toting law enforcers. It’s all a big trick you see. But when the black heart of Vorhees winds up on the autopsy table, it possesses the soul of an investigator.

This 32-year-old offering does boast the presence of Buck Rogers veteran Erin Gray (Hollywood royalty, absolutely wasted), diminutive character actor Leslie Jordan, and a blatant nod to Jaws.

What follows feels like a horror version of Carry on Camping, without the laughs, or subtlety. In tents the action may be. Intense? Far from it.

This time a snake-like parasite transfers Jason’s evil soul from body to body.

“Humdrum”

Picture quality is rather good for the age, for what little you can see. Night shots should add tension, but are just annoying.

Cast do their best with the humdrum script, but it’s an uphill battle. There’s zero interest in any of the characters and domestic scenes play out like (Channel) 5 afternoon TV movies.

There’s one good Carrie-style end scene which sets up the equally awful Freddy vs Jason smackdown yawnfest. The title promises much but delivers so little. Hell it most definitely is, like being stuck in traffic on the M25 while dying for the loo. Dreadful.