Navigating Grief: How to Help Your Loved Ones

If someone in your family is grieving, knowing how to support them can feel tricky. From approaching difficult conversations to knowing how much time to spend together, it’s sometimes a fine line between being sensitive and becoming overbearing.

To truly support your loved one, you’ll need to understand how grief works. From there, you can learn the most effective communication strategies and find ways to provide ongoing support.

Understanding the grieving process

Losing someone important to you can be very hard to process. Whether that person was a friend, a partner or a close relative, your loved ones will be experiencing a range of complex emotions.

When a community grieves together, it’s called collective grief. In written theory, psychologist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross attributed five stages of grief:

● Denial – feeling empty and numb, like it hasn’t happened.
● Anger – a natural response when death seems cruel and unfair.
● Bargaining – asking ‘what if’ questions and feeling regretful.
● Depression – longing, sadness and a sense of despair.
● Acceptance – grief comes and goes, but we can learn to move on.

Grief can appear in other types. Anticipatory grief, for example, is a sense of loss that we might feel while we’re expecting someone to pass away. Secondary loss can be a knock-on effect of grieving, and it involves us losing something important too – like a job, a care responsibility, or even a sense of identity.

Learning how to communicate

It can be hard to start conversations with someone who is grieving. But trying to be an active listener and avoiding small talk can help them feel supported, creating a safe space for their emotions.

Don’t approach conversations with the goal of helping them feel better. Acknowledge their pain and loss, avoiding putting any pressure on them. Only offer advice if they ask for it and always be mindful of any cultural or religious differences that could influence their views.

Finding practical support

Helping out makes a huge difference to someone who’s grieving. You can ask what they need, but if they’re not sure, you can be proactive and help out in ways that you feel might be appropriate. For example, you could help with their laundry, cooking dinner, or other household tasks.

The death of a family member nearly always involves arranging a funeral. This process can be time-consuming and expensive, so you could also offer to help them with payments and explore funding options. You could let them know that direct cremation can be a more cost-effective option than a traditional service.

Long-term care and professional help

Finally, don’t forget to think about whether your loved one might benefit from ongoing support beyond the initial loss period.

Whether you live in a rural village or a large city, you should find out how to access remote or in-person counselling services and support groups. Knowing when to encourage seeking professional help can be tricky, but you should always trust your judgement when you know someone well.

Remember, the potential mental health impacts of bereavement can be long-lasting and difficult to overcome. Remain patient and kind, communicating gently and helping wherever possible.