Daliso Chaponda Q&A
Famous Last Words with comedian and Britain’s Got Talent finalist, Daliso Chaponda…
Last thing you did that made you feel good?
Seeing my entire family. They all flew over from across the world to see me compete on Britain’s Got Talent. We had not all been in the same country in 25 years
Last thing you’d want to be doing right now?
Talking to bureaucrats, queuing in a bureaucratic office, filling bureaucratic forms with some kind of numerical designation like A-23, G-12 and so on. I’m pretty sure the first circle of hell is lots and lots of bureaucracy.
Last night on Earth… What’s your poison?
A big meal with a lot of friends. Lots of laughter, tall tales told and apologies.
Last supper… What are you ordering?
Tom Kha Soup to start with, a roast chicken main meal and lots and lots of custard for dessert. But honestly, the food wouldn’t matter. It would be about the company. Mostly old friends, a few new ones.
“Corrupt politicians would have a tough time hiding cows”
Last person you’d want to share a drink with?
Speaking of old friends, I have a friend named Jeanie who is a bonkers chatterbox who makes me laugh and shake my head. Occasionally I tut. She’d be my final drinking buddy if a meteor or nuclear bomb or risen old gods decided to end the world. Oh, I may have misinterpreted that. You might mean the person I would least want to have a drink with. Omar Al-Bashir.
Last time you shed a tear and why?
I was twelve. A bully was involved. I decided not to cry ever again. I haven’t yet.
Last refuge… where would you go?
First choice: Narnia. However, if a wardrobe was not handy, South Africa. It’s got the perfect blend of big personalities, hot weather and random adventures.
Last the course… tips on loot, love & life?
Loot: we should switch from using currency to using livestock. Corrupt politicians would have a tough time hiding cows. Love: I told someone ‘Don’t ever change’ and realised it was a way of saying ‘I love you’. Life: Pure delight. When it’s over, can I reboot and start again.
Last but one… random question: Tell us about something that interests you that nobody else knows about. Like Gaelic football… or porcelain.
I love listening to people argue about anything. I listen to podcast debates and strain to listen through the walls when my neighbours squabble.
Your Famous Last Words?
Wait, wait, I have so many more jok… (and then I choke)
Daliso’s nationwide tour starts in February 2018, visiting Huddersfield LBT (March 2), Sheffield Leadmill (March 23), Leeds City Varieties (March 24), Hull City Hall (April 5)
images: Steve Ullathorne